Bill,
As a service to your readers, I am advising on how to spot the lies of College Football Head Coaches.
During what I call my “career,” I have had several positions in which detecting lies was important.
In my law enforcement training, I have studied the Reid Technique — a program created by John E. Reid and Associates that helps investigators with their interviewing and interrogation techniques.
Armed with my background and training, I humbly offer your readers the means for detecting lies by College Football Head Coaches.
This same technique can be used in evaluating the words of your granddaughter’s boyfriend, your financial advisor and your golfing opponents.
The best way to illustrate this is to make a comparison to the two major 2024 Presidential candidates, also known as 45 and 46.
Both are serial liars … on a scale never seen before in the history of our great country.
Whichever one we vote for, if we are truthful, we say:
1. I hate your guy more;
2. My guy lies less than your guy;
3. My guy’s mental/emotional instability is less bothersome than your guy’s; and (most importantly)
4. I like his policies much better.
Biden specializes in what I call “the unnecessary adverb,” or “the insincere sincerely.”
Trump specializes in what I call “the NOT truth.”
Here are examples … followed by the CFB Head Coach equivalent.
Biden said: “I have created the Inflation Reduction Act. It will bring inflation completely under control. And, I mean this very sincerely.”
Translation? “We all know that taming inflation is going to be difficult. This is the best idea my handlers can come up with.”
Trump said: “My financial people tell me that I have a net worth of Ten Billion Dollars. And, this is NOT because they have inflated the value of my real estate holdings.”
Translation? “If I liquidated everything, I hope I’d have enough left over to keep me in cheeseburgers and Cokes. And, if I actually listened to any handlers, I wouldn’t keep making these stupid comments.”
Football equivalent … the unnecessary adverb and the not truth combined:
“Bill Moor will be our QB on Saturday. We sincerely believe he has the best chance of winning. And I’m not just saying that to build his confidence.”
Even worse: “Honestly, Moor has looked great in practice. I mean that sincerely … and I’m not just saying that because the fan boards like him and not because I believe my job in on the line.”
So the next time you hear the Head Coach of some bottom dweller say “I sincerely believe we can beat Georgia,” it means, “I hope we can keep the score below 60 before they put in the clean uniform players.”
And, if the Big Boy Head Coach says, “We are not looking past this game and I mean that sincerely,” it means, “We didn’t even ask for their game films and I showed the team ‘Gilligan’s Island’ re-runs instead.”
I encourage your readers to BOLO (cop term … Be On the Look-Out) these expressions to see which ones come up.
Go Irish!