You know that saying, “You’re the average of the five people you surround yourself with”?
Friends.
I thank God for them. I see them as being more talented, more witty, more savvy, more courageous, more … than me. And still we’re friends.
Then there’s the well-known wisdom that states, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” Let’s just say, I’m rarely in the wrong room.
I look to my friends, young and old, for wisdom. I’ve learned that it’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to sport a bit of fire, find your voice, and let it be heard. It’s okay to understand that some things are just NOT my circus and I don’t have to fix everything – at least not today.
I’ve learned that boundaries are more than a theory and are just as important as inclusion, and, as Maya Angelou stated, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Some friends share the daily. Some – the once in awhile. We laugh, we cry, we listen, we celebrate, we question, we figure it out – whatever “it” happens to be at the moment, we wonder why. I’m lucky to have these gifts in my life – that have grown me, challenged me, and championed me.
Lately, I’ve thought about how lucky I am, A LOT. Some of my friends are pushing upwards into their sixties or beyond and bumping into health issues – and struggling. I want a magic wand to make the difficult disappear so that the friendship can linger and surround me like an eternal flame.
If you’ve ever felt this kinship with your friends (and I sincerely hope you have) perhaps the words of a poem I wrote in 1980 will resonate with you. Funny how something from the archives can mean as much or more forty years later.
Friends Are Like the Sun
Mary Rita Schilke Sill © 1980
I watched the sun nestle
down in the clouds
camouflaging them
in colors
of red and pink and
distant blues.
I watched as it
touched and changed
shadows and water
and me
inside out.
I am absolutely sure that
friends are
like the sun.
The joy is the same
in their coming
as is the sadness
at their parting.
And sometimes
you might not see them
for a whole hour
or night or more …
But you know that
they will come back
like the sun
because there is promise
in the stars.