Late yesterday, cruising the mail, an alert from the St. Joseph County Public Library in regards to the unveiling of the new main library. New? Satire, at least in South Bend, can be cruel (no shortage of material).
Yet, for the serial reader and frequent visitor, our library and its branches rank close to the Library of Congress. Congress, however, in a perpetual stalemate for two decades, has to battle a Twinkie or a frozen 1995 Big Mac for freshness. Ageism is not marked in nature’s rings in the torso of the fallen Council Oak, but by the wrinkles of frowning leaders.
Not so with the SJCPL. The open house, on Sunday, Nov. 14, 2021 should be a blockbuster. Included in the event is an opportunity to tour the “new” facility with docent architects. An attempt to make an on-line appointmentt for 1 p.m. failed, twice, so, in desperation, I called.
The library staff person answered in less than 30 seconds, and immediately secured a position (one of only 20 per tour). I had the proper credentials; photo ID, last 4 digits of the SSN, and no felony arrest record. Yet. Nor any overdue fines.
Architecture is so fascinating, I tried to register as actor Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame. Alas, he does not have SJCPL cred. Ditto, when I impersonated George Costanza, the faux architect character, Art Vandelay.
He did not have to design a thing, just project an architect-like coolness across his portly, balding countenance, in full denial of his core artlessness.
I, too, am portly, bald, artless, but unrecognizable while wearing a mask,. So on time, 1 p.m. Sunday, look closely at the tour group attendees. I’ll be the one with a GPS ankle monitor, installed by the FBI’s witness protection program. Most of the charges have been dropped.